The Gates of Hell

I went back to the only other thing I knew how to do well. There was one problem this time. I did it just to do it. Dealing for dealing's sake. Not for a band. Not for a new album. I did it just to do it. I think I needed to feel like I was still good at something. I started making trips into New York City, dealing with people who were not musicians but smugglers. Moving 40 lbs. of pot in a few hours wasn't uncommon. I  had access to a couple of lofts in the city, lent to me by business associates, where I could stay for weeks at a time. I loved the city. There was always a great band to see, a great restaurant to eat in at 3:00AM, it was very fast, and it was non-stop. And there was always something coming in that I could bring back to Conn. to sell...or something from Conn. that I could always find buyers for in Manhattan, and the money was everywhere. One day, I left Conn. with a friend, for the city.. with 35 lbs. of very high quality Venezualan pot. The buyer was my friend's contact. The business went down very smoothly, and three hours later, we had $3500.00  in profits to split. And a valuable new customer. We were all sitting around the apartment, afterwards, and our host passed around a couple of mirrors with lines of powder on them. We did some coke, which was very good, and then when the second mirror got to me, my host looked at us and said "would you like some dougee?"...I didn't know what that meant, so my buddy pulled me aside and explained that they were lines of heroin to snort. I had always been down on that stuff, and would never have gone looking for it. The stuff scared me. But my friend, looked at me and said.."it's no big deal Mike, I've done it...and let's not blow things with this guy." I thought of how much money we had just made, and how I wanted to be able to do it again in the future, so to avoid offending this guy, I took the mirror from him and said "sure, why not"... and did a couple of lines. With that one act, I opened up The Gates of Hell. Fifteen minutes after snorting the heroin, I realized that for the first time since my Mom's murder, I felt as good as I had always felt before the murder. There was no pain, no anger, no rage..just relief; and I didn't care if it was Drano..I was getting more of this. I bought a few grams before I left the guy's apartment, and thought as I headed back home, that I had never felt better....