Putting It All On the Line

It wasn't until Monday that I was finally able to track down Charles. Wherever he had been, he was back. I was still very angry over the weekend I had just been through, and I knew that when he came out to the house, the conversation was bound to be an unpleasant one. I wanted to hear what he had to say first. I was curious if he would tell me the truth about where he had been and what he had been doing. When Charles got to my house, I was grateful he had come alone, because when he was alone, I stood a better chance of finding out what was really going on with him. I told him exactly what I had heard, and I asked him if that was true...and if not, where had he been, and what had he been doing? He told me that he and Nick had just gone away to party for the weekend and that was it. He inferred there had been no band, and no audition...but he never actually said that. I realized that for whatever reason, Charles was not in another band at that moment, and I felt relief about that, but I still felt he was lying to me. Bonnie would have never let Charles and Nick go off to New York City for a weekend of partying...it made no sense. I wondered if Charles had found that Avalanche was a better band than the one he went to check out...or maybe he just wasn't the guy they had been looking for...but the truth is, I never found out what really happened that weekend. Maybe he went to the city to find out from Annie what she felt about the band's future. Maybe he was there letting off steam. I really don't know. All I really knew was how insecure I felt. I laid it all on the line with Charles...telling him I couldn't believe that he could even consider making a choice like that...without knowing if he had even made that choice. What I tried to make him see was...if he had auditioned for another band...he wasn't thinking straight. That was a big mistake. Instead of reminding him what we all had at stake, I accused him of something I assumed had happened, but may not have actually happened at all. I felt like I had averted a crisis. But I think all I really succeeded in doing was to challenge Charles' right to be the master of his  own destiny. I think I might have pushed Charles to make a choice he may not have otherwise made...but I'll never know...and I have regretted it to this day.