It was never my intention for this journal...this story of my life...to become a vehicle for my political beliefs. But whether I like it or not, the story cannot be told completely or honestly without my touching on those beliefs, if only briefly...because they had a major role in shaping the choices I've made in my life...and in shaping who I was...and in many ways...who I am today. One thing that has always been true...I have always paid attention to what I see, and to what I hear. As a result of that, I have found that I recognized from an early age that often...what I was seeing...was very different than what I was being told. For me, I first became aware of that at age 11, when John F. Kennedy was assassinated in Dallas. With the exception of the very early Project Mercury space flights...the Kennedy assassination was the first real news story that I was able to witness and was able to recognize...that what I was seeing was history unfolding before my eyes. I had been a huge fan of Kennedy at the time of his death...I was very idealistic, very patriotic, and I was also very interested in the American Space Program at that time...like many kids my age. Kennedy was a president that was young enough and bold enough for me to actually be able to relate to...and his goals for a Lunar Landing, and for the country in general, were more idealistic, positive, and hopeful than I had ever heard any president articulate...before then or since then...and I'm sure that is because...before then...I was just too young to notice or care about such things...and since then...we have all been living in a different America. He had a way of stirring emotions and hope in me with his words that I had never felt before...and I think people everywhere felt many of those same feelings when they heard him speak...his Inaugural Address, and his address in Berlin are two speeches of his that always come to mind for me. I was very affected by his murder...and I was obsessed with the assassination investigation and the Warren Commission Report. I had read it in its entirety...as well as Mark Lane's book, "Rush to Judgment" by the time I was 13. Mark Lane was a prominent attorney, who had been retained by Marina Oswald to investigate the events surrounding her husband's murder, and to clear his name. It was completely obvious to me, after reading both of those books and exploring the countless discrepencies and inconsistencies in the Warren Report...that the government had no interest in revealing the truth about what happened that day in Dallas. As I studied the two very different accounts of what had occurred that day, I realized that there had been hundreds of leads that were never investigated, and scores of eyewitnesses that were never called to testify before the Commission, and even more witnesses, still, that had given statements to the Dallas Police and FBI that contradicted the conclusions and findings of the Commission...but, due to the nature of those testimonies, those statements were never included in any part of the Report. It became very clear that a massive cover-up of the true facts surrounding the assassination was the only plausible explanation. The famous Zapruder film of the assassination clearly shows that the fatal shot had to come from in front of the Presidential limousine...unless all the laws of physics were suddenly suspended for that brief moment in time. Although Oswald was alleged to have killed Kennedy as his limousine pulled away from The Texas Book Depository...the place Oswald was alleged to have done the shooting from...THAT location was well to the rear of the limousine, so the film clearly proves that was an impossible scenario. And although there were many other facts about the assassination that were ominous and chilling...and pointed clearly to an obvious conspiracy...the final two most disturbing facts of all ended up being the "clinchers" for me. Well over 100 people who had been in Dealy Plaza that day in Dallas, that had either witnessed the assassination, or had come forward to offer testimony to the FBI, the Dallas Police, or the Warren Commission...had been murdered or had died under extremely suspicious circumstances within two years of the assassination...and not one of those deaths was ever seriously investigated by anyone. I won't even begin to discuss the silencing of Oswald himself...other than to say that it happened in the Dallas Police Garage...while he was under Dallas Police control. And the most suspicious fact of all was...that Lyndon Johnson, himself a Texan, and a man who totally despised Kennedy...and who ascended to the Presidency upon Kennedy's death...personally had any and all evidence relating to the assassination sealed in the National Archives for 75 years...presumably until everyone alive at the time of the assassination would be dead. That evidence, and the truth to be gleaned from it, still remains sealed there...to this day. The country...and the slain president who was a national hero to many...both deserved far better. Only people in very high places, in positions of absolute power and with incredible secrets to hide...could ever consider doing such a thing...or have the means to accomplish such a feat...since at that time, concealing the facts of a Presidential assassination, especially one as controversial as Kennedy's was completely unheard of. Lee Harvey Oswald was a pawn in a game he didn't even know he was in. He was a terrible shot, as his Army records clearly indicated...he couldn't even hit the large stationary targets used at the army shooting range during his basic training...let alone a moving target...and the rifle he allegedly used in Dallas was of such poor quality, and the sights on it were so misaligned, that none of the FBI's best sharpshooters could duplicate Oswald's "feat" in re-enactments of the crime. The cover stories had already been written in advance, and were quickly distributed to the worldwide media, and one of those, naming Oswald as having been arrested in Dallas as the suspected shooter, actually appeared in an Australian newspaper several hours before the actual assassination had even taken place. I guess someone in the Intelligence community goofed up...and miscalculated the time difference. And the most amazing thing of all is...with all this information being clearly documented...the Warren Commission was still able to sell to the American public "The Lone Gunman Theory," as it came to be known...the totally incredible conclusion that Lee Harvey Oswald was the actual assassin...and had acted alone...which defied all the evidence, and reeked of illogic...and just feuled the suspicions that many people had of an on-going cover-up...and a government conspiracy. And they got away with it. Even at 13 years old I knew a putrid odor when I smelled one. And by the time I was 15, I was totally convinced that there had been a Coup D'Etat in this country, because in only four short years immediately following the assassination...everything had begun to change. Once it had become clear that the American public was buying this totally absurd explanation for one of the most savage and dark days in American History...the "new" power that was now ruling this country realized the incredible ability of the media to alter, distort, and control perception. They recognized that with the use of misinformation, they now had the power to explain, or deflect anything...given enough time. And they realized that with the right "spin doctors" they could convince the American public of anything they wanted...whether it was a result of the public's apathy, gullibility, or both. People believed what they wanted to...or what they were told or saw on television...not what they saw happening all around them...whether it was an immoral and exploitive foreign policy...camouflaged as liberation, or as the exportation of democracy...or the denial of crimes, events, or agendas that were supported by clear evidence to the contrary. Even film footage, written documentation, testimony from very credible sources, or plain old common sense didn't seem to enter into the equation at all...and I believe it was at that pivotal moment in American history that the New World Order, which had survived in the shadows for nearly a decade...manipulating events and solidifying its power base...made its move...and openly assumed control of America.
And all the rules began to change. Government secrecy became the rule. Misinformation became the rule. Changes in Anti-Trust laws happened quickly and quietly, and corporate mergers that eliminated competition in the marketplace and created monopolies that had once been totally illegal...became the rule. Political lobbies creating policy...became the rule. Massive increases in the prices of goods and services...with insignificant increases in wages...became the rule. Elimination of the middle class in America...became the rule. The shift to two wage-earner households as a matter of necessity...and the generations of latch-key kids that were to become the direct result of that...became the rule. In effect, the end of the conventional nuclear family...and the erosion of the traditional family values that had made America strong...became the rule. Keeping people so distracted with their own survival...that they didn't have the time or energy to question what the government might be doing...became the rule. The loss of personal rights and personal privacy...became the rule. The sale and proliferation of weapons of all types...and the de-stabilization of governments outside of our country...in effect, war for profit's sake...instead of for self-defense...became the rule. Our government inserting itself into the internal affairs of other nations, all over the world...became the rule. Corporate greed and theft...pension raiding and white-collar crime...with no accountability...became the rule. The elimination of job security and an end to the tradition of loyalty and appreciation for lifelong employees of American companies...became the rule. The exportation of industrial and manufacturing jobs to foreign countries...became the rule. Mergers with foreign corporations that don't care about America or Americans...and the selling of our country's soul to those interests...became the rule. A complete lack of any real choices in our political candidates and our political process...became the rule. Mindless greed and absolute power...regardless of the human cost...became the rule. And a government that no longer felt we had the right or need to know what they were really up to...because what they were up to had nothing to do with real American values...or what was best for us...as a nation...or as a planet...became the rule that mattered most.
And the principles that had made America a beacon of hope for the whole world...and the principles that had attracted millions of people to this country from everywhere...and that hundreds of thousands of brave Americans had fought and died to protect for over two hundred years...real freedom, fairness, honor, justice, truth, and the promise that our children would inherit a better America...and a better world than we had...The American Dream...began to vanish.And those values slowly became...the old rules...that no longer applied.
I haven't been able to trust or believe the vast majority of the information that has been reported as news or as "facts" from this government ever since that fabricated conclusion was reached by the Warren Commission, almost forty years ago. In my experience, most "facts" I have heard reported as news...were clearly, and continue to be...cover stories or spin...designed to protect, confuse, or conceal an earlier deception, which in turn, had been manufactured to create yet another illusion...and all of which were designed to obscure the real truth. Because when the American public didn't care enough to demand the truth about who killed their President in 1963...it proved beyond a shadow of a doubt to the powers that were then, and are now...firmly in control...that the American people don't have the will, or the attention span...to insist on the truth...and that any "reasonable explanation" would suffice. There is also the possibility that many people who might have actually suspected or realized the truth...either felt too powerless, or too afraid to do anything about it...after all, if powerful forces within our government could kill the President and get away with it...they could kill anyone. But whatever the real reason was...whether it was fear or apathy...we had become, and continue to be...like sheep...being led to slaughter...herded into an endless maze of lies and deception that is so deep, and so convoluted...that if evidence of these truths were actually revealed today...there is a strong possibility that evidence wouldn't even be believed... or would be met with incredulity or skepticism...because it is so completely contrary to what we now perceive to be "history." I keep thinking of how profound Jack Nicholson's line in the movie "A Few Good Men" was, when he said... "You can't handle the truth!" When anyone tries to uncover or expose a dark government secret or a government deception...they are attacked as unpatriotic, or as a radical, or as a left-wing liberal, or as a mental-defective or a troublemaker...by the media, or by a government official or spokesperson... and should they get too close to the real truth...and are in a highly respected position, or have enough celebrity or visibility that people might actually listen to them...then the attacks in the media become relentless...even though questioning what our government is doing has always been a basic American principle. Asking questions...and dissent...are supposed to be a part of the "checks and balances" system that prevents governmental abuses of power...and which our founding fathers wove into the fabric of our society...for that very purpose. Today, the American people are kept "in the dark" about most of what this government is really doing...and all of that secrecy is conveniently wrapped up in "the flag"...and that all-encompassing phrase "National Security". Today, anyone who tries to find out WHY something is a National Security issue, is very often told..."that information is classified." If that person continues to search for answers anyway...he or she risks being labeled a danger to our National Security just for asking the question...when the fact is...the answers to any of the questions that really matter today...are completely shrouded under that label of "classified information." The real threat to our national security is the current state of affairs...which is the government controlling the people...instead of the people controlling the government...and that obscure, dark shroud of secrecy that permeates so much of our government's activities. Once, not that long ago...a person on a quest for the truth used to be called a patriot. Today, should a person persist in that quest for answers...and if efforts to discredit, to silence, or to dissuade that pursuit of the truth just haven't been effective...he or she also runs the risk of becoming one of the numerous examples of an even more drastic form of damage control...where many people have met with unfortunate "accidents," suffered untimely deaths, or have just vanished....the majority of which have either been explained away or ignored...by the media.
As a society...we don't seem to really want to know the truth...because to do so would mean we would have to accept our blindness, our apathy, and our denial of everything that has changed in this country, and within our government over the past forty years...and how this government is now out of control...and more importantly...no longer in OUR control. Our denial of the dark manipulative forces that still continue to shape our perception of what is true...and what is really happening...is simply...all of us just shutting our eyes to what we do not want to see...and our minds and our hearts to what we do not want to believe...and so we go through life with blinders on...even though sticking our heads in the sand...will do nothing to protect us from the approaching storm.
As a recovering addict, and as a person who has made some poor choices in his past...and once participated in activities that are frowned on in today's America, and rightly so (unless, of course, you are Rush Limbaugh...who is just the most recent example of "selective law enforcement")...I know that writing about this has some risk attached to it. Because of the changes I have made in my life, and the spiritual path that I am on today...I have no interest or desire to participate in any of my old behaviors which today, I recognize as totally self-destructive and as harmful to others...but because of some of the things that I once did...I know how easy it would be for me to be discredited or silenced...or both. Simply by using misinformation...and my past against me, it would be easy to invalidate anything that I might have written here in this journal that may hit too close to a sensitive area...so that the words written here would carry no weight. They may not carry any weight with a lot of people anyway...and I'm totally aware of that. People can only see...if they want to see...and if they are paying attention...but that awareness doesn't make anything I've written here any less true or any less valid. I know what I plainly see going on all around me...and most of the time...it isn't what I'm told on the evening news. The fact is...I have always paid attention...and today that is more true than it has ever been. I am drug-free, and living clean today...and the one thing I've learned from having paid attention is...when something rings true within me...I feel it in my heart, and to my core...even when my head doesn't want to believe it. And so I believe there is something we can do. We can listen to our gut to recognize the truth...instead of listening to the news networks, the spin doctors, or the political pundits. If something feels wrong...it almost always is wrong. And when something sounds right...very often, it still doesn't feel right. Trust your gut to tell you the truth...even if your head, your neighbor, or the television is telling you something different. The gut never lies. It is where our conscience lives. It is how God speaks to us. And it will always be clear about what is right and what is true. We must really pay attention to what is happening around us...and inside of us. We need to communicate with each other. We need to ask questions and we need to demand answers...while there is still time, and ways available to us to do that. The old adage..."united we stand, divided we fall"...has never been more true than it is right now...but we should be united behind the principles this country was founded on. "United" should not mean blind allegience to the policies of a government that no longer has the people's best interests at heart.
Endless debates on both sides of every issue keep us confused and unsure of what course we should be on...and so the country is divided on nearly every issue and every question. That makes all of us vulnerable. When I am unsure about what I am hearing or seeing..I can still trust what I know to be true and right..by my feelings..and the values that I was taught as a child, in a different America. And most of us grew up in THAT America. And there is still a great strength in numbers. A huge groundswell of resistance to what is silently but steadily happening inside our government is our only chance to restore this country to the values on which it was really founded..and to restore the power of this government to where it has always belonged..with the people. But that requires us to unite behind the simple principles of truth, justice, and fairness..and to ignore the divisive tactics of fear, judgment, attack, and doubt..which saturate the media and our senses and keep us too overwhelmed and confused to really pay attention..to the things that really matter.
I often ask myself..am I seeing and hearing this news report clearly? Is the information I'm being given here really making sense? Is this merely a distraction...just another illusion...created to obscure a deeper truth? Is there something else, other than what I am being told..that is really going on here? Is this just another deception...in order to keep me from seeing things clearly...so that I no longer continue to pay attention? Usually I end up feeling that is exactly what is happening. I usually recognize that I am being force-fed a steady diet of misinformation. It has become Standard Operating Procedure for this government, and the media it controls. It is not a coincidence that in the last ten years, there has been an explosion of twenty-four-hour-a-day television news networks...all constantly debating issues until there is no possible way to discern what is real, what is right, or what the truth is. I have had to learn how to turn off my television, and the myriad of opinions that swirl around me in order to see what is real in my world..and in order to feel what is true in my heart. But occasionally, I also ask myself...Could I just be too paranoid? And I guess that's possible, maybe I am..but most of the time..what I really believe today is..I'm probably not paranoid enough.
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